Dear Family,
On behalf of Dad and Mom, I enclose their last Christmas gift to each of you. They asked me to convey three wishes to you: First, that the dollar amount of the check was higher; Second, that you use the money in a way that makes you and your family happy; and Third, that you recognize that this check is but a small measure of their love for you.
I think it is quite fitting that this final Estate distribution coincides with the coming of Christmas. The Regan household at Christmastime was indeed a wonder. We each retain our own cherished memories - here are a few of mine (they may be yours as well; in fact, as Renie knows, I sometimes inadvertently grab hold of others' stories as my own):
- Dad's amazing calmness on Christmas Eve morning, even though he had not yet thought about, much less purchased, a single gift and faced a full day of crazed holiday shopping with his brigade of daughters;
- The last-minute purchase of our Christmas tree, the complicated logistics of ensuring that the tree stayed upright in its stand, and the mass exodus when it came time to decorate the tree (except for Teresa, alone, with a handful of tinsel, dutifully doing the work of 14);
- The pure happiness that enveloped the entire Regan household on Christmas Eve night, with the fire in the fireplace struggling to keep pace with the burning Yule log on the television;
- Our beautiful wood mantel above the fireplace - just before we hammered in the nails to hang up our stockings;
- The moment of wonderful confusion on Christmas morning as we approached a living room jam-packed with gifts, each of us silently measuring the individual stashes and waiting for Mom's instruction as to which one was ours;
- The utter exhaustion and wild hunger (and, yes, a slight disappointment) that overtook me almost instantly after unwrapping my last gift);
- The gathering around the dining room table for the presentation of gifts to Mom and Dad, an endless affair in which time momentarily stood still when your gift was being opened;
- The leisurely pace of Christmas Day, lounging in our pajamas well into the afternoon and rediscovering one at a time our Christmas gifts; and
- A singular moment during Christmas Day when it dawns on you, not for the first time, that you are miraculously blessed to have Mom and Dad as your parents and to be a part of this wonderful family.
Merry Christmas to all of you. I love you.
Bob
I have just reread Bob's letter and I am amazed how he so beautifully captures the emotions of our childhood Christmases. I talked with Deb, and then Pat, and they each conveyed the same sentiment, how they were immediately transported back to that morning. Deb expressed a desire to hear everybody else's favorite memory of Christmas. I think that would be the perfect gift to each other and ultimately, to Mom and Dad's memory. So if you would like to share something with each other, now is the time.
One of my favorite memories is when Mom would call you aside after all the gifts had been opened and announce she had forgotten to give you one of your presents. One year, she whispered to me to come upstairs where she handed me a small package. I opened up two receiving blankets for my new baby doll. Having witnessed Mommy wrap her own babies so efficiently and snugly year after year, I was so thrilled to do so to my own baby doll.
Bob, thank you for evoking such vivid memories and for reminding us of how blessed we are to have been raised in such a family.
Love you all,
Bay
Mike,
I loved your memories! I agree with Mike that I remember Mom’s face on Christmas morning as everyone opened their gifts; she just loved seeing everyone open their presents and exclaim over them; it just made her day. I remember one year when mom had showed me a pair of pants she had bought Pat for Christmas, and little did she know that Pat had bought her the exact same pants! I think I must have made a surprise face when she showed me so I had to reassure her Pat would love them. I couldn’t wait for Christmas to see them when they both opened their new pants. I remembered going shopping with mom for Christmas and how much fun we had picking out the presents; then we would go and get a soft drink and talk about all that she had bought. I don’t know how she did it; what with all the birthdays before Christmas and then having to wait til Dad got home to even go out and shop, since they only had one car, she was one amazing woman! I also remember Vince putting together shows for us to do on Christmas Eve and we would sing and do silly things, but it was a magical night and we were all so excited. Then when all the little ones went to bed we would decorate the tree (one tinsel strand at a time)! Man, this is taking me back years- thanks for the idea Bay !
Bob, thank you so much for that beautiful letter; it deserves framing! It brought tears to my eyes as I read it and it brought back all those wonderful memories-thank you so much!
Merry Christmas everyone!
Teresa
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God I love you guys! I miss Mommy, Daddy and Vince!!! I have tears in my eyes reading all these emails. My memory is not that great and reading these mails brings back so much happiness. I do recall always being so nervous trying on cloths and hoping that they would fit. And I know Mommy was right there praying that I like the presents and hoping that they would fit too. She knows how sad I would get if they didn’t fit and I did not want to ruin the excitement of the day or disappoint Mommy.
I too want to give a special thank you to OT and Rame for handling Mom and Dad estate. I am sure it was not an easy task, emotionally or otherwise. And a great big thank you for the Christmas money!!! The timing could not have been more perfect.
Thank you both!
Merry Christmas,
David
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As with others I could write many things, but I will limit it to three:
1. Age 8 or so -- Marching down the stairs and seeing that the living room had been transformed overnight into a wonderland of streamers, decorations and presents -- and believing with all my heart that "yes Santa Claus is real."
2. Around the age of 10 or 11 -- I was inspired by Rame's Christmas spirit when he would insist on going to Midnight Mass. And then again around age 16 or 17, realizing that his spirit(s) were not always religion based despite the bulletin he brought home from church as evidence.
3. Age 15 or so -- Being too old to act overtly excited, yet young enough to be up early in anticipation. So to fill the time between getting up and being able to go downstairs, using the back stairs to go to the kitchen and getting a cup of tea and casually sneaking a peak into the living room under the guise of getting milk from the refrigerator.
And to bridge the gap from childhood memories to making your own with our kids, Michele and I have blended many traditions from both families into our own. The most important of which is being with family during the holidays -- so from our family to yours, Merry Christmas!! And in addition to all the wonderful memories we all have, one not so wonderful memory that we continue to deal with each year (to varying degrees of success) is "you have to brush your teeth before you can come down".
- John
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Dear Everyone,
I too, have a very special Christmas memory of Jamestown and Mommy and Daddy. I tell you this story NOT to make you sad, but to celebrate the wonder that is the season and your family.
It was Christmas 1991 - the first since Vincey had died. I was trying my hardest to be brave and stayed in WV to celebrate Christmas with our friends and the "traditions" we had started sinced living there with all those great people. That was the year Matt made the VHS (remember those?) of the family setting it to music. You know, the four part one. I was afraid of it the minute it arrived. I knew the emotional bomb it could be. So, I held it and did not watch it or show it to the girls until after they had finished opening presents and we had had breakfast. We hald talked to Jamestown and Maine and then, I felt fortified and ready.
We were still all in our PJs and I told the girls what I had. They, of course, were furious with me that I had waited so long to tell them about it. So, with tea in hand, Alison, Tessie and Katherine sitting as close to the TV as possible we put it in the machine and watched. When the third section came, and Vince was there, smiling, happy, healthy and surrounded by all the people that were so deeply important to him, it came for me - such a flood of grief that I had been holding my breath on for the past 12 months. Mericifully, Matt's editorial genius ended 4th part of the video with the joyful celebration of life.
We all sat there, I remember sitting quietly staromg at the snow on the screen for what seemed like forever until I quietly asked the girls if they would like to drive to Jamestown right then and there. WILD!!!! Jubilation. I called Grandmom and when I asked her if it was okay if we came up - TODAY, she said "I wondered why you aren't here now!"
I don't remember packing, the girls traveled in their pjs, I don't remember the drive. What I do remember is arriving in Jamestown - to the hoots and hollars and excitement of everyone. What I remember is all the hugs and joy that we were there. What I do remember is sitting in the kitchen with Mommy and a cup of tea and both of us crying. What I do remember is the warm, safe feeling of being loved and more importantly of belonging.
Even though Vince wasn't there, I had a home there - not in Jamestown, but wherever your parents were. I remember feeling so very special in the midst of so many. What I do remember is your Dad coming over to me later, and hugging me and saying simply, "I love you, dingbat". What I remember is how happy my girls were, how childlike, how perfect. What I remember is that I was breathing. I was going to be okay and so were the girls. What I do remember is that Vince had left me the greatest gift of all - of family, his family.
That is always still the feeling I get at Christmas time - the feeling of unbridled joy, the joy of belonging and of beling loved by my beloeved Vincey's family. But mostly and more importantly, that his family loves his girls, each one - wholly and individually. That is the gift of Christmas that I always remember from that viist at Christmas time to Jamestown in 1991.
And still, twenty years, later, that brilliant shard of joy and relief is there. Thank you all
and Merry Christmas to everyone.
With love,
Lis
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Typically, I had a hard time choosing my favorite Christmas memory. Here are just a few of my many memories from our Regan Christmas':
The heady days leading up to Christmas were my favorite part of the season:
- waiting with anticipation for all the college age and older siblings to return home. No matter how many of us were together, it was always noticeable when even one brother or sister was missing.
- watching the Christmas specials on TV that only aired once a year. Daddy loved them as much as we did - especially the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. It was as much fun watching Daddy chuckle at the grinch's antics as it was watching the actual show.
- going to the mall en masse to buy Mommy and Daddy's presents. Teresa was so patient with each of us as we made the weighty decision between kitchen dish towels or set of Woolworth's finest steak knives. After all the shopping was done, we would head to the little restaurant attached to Woolworth's to share a few sodas, and one year, incredibly, a 1cent banana split (one sundae, ten spoons).
- practicing for our annual Christmas Eve performance that Ot or Vincie would produce. The nightly play practices that Michael was routinely thrown out of for laughing at me while I practiced presententing a Christmas poem.
- waking up Christmas Eve morning when Debbie & I shared a bed. The first one awake would shake the other awake with "Wake up it's Christmas Eve!".
When Christmas morning had finally arrived:
- going into Michael, Matthew, & John's room to wait it out & give the older kids a chance to sleep in a little longer. Deciding who would brave the noxious odor of the 3rd floor to wake the big brothers. Waiting with growing excitement until Mommy gave the ok to head downstairs.
- having to eat breakfast before we opened presents, pretending to have to go to the bathroom, so you could sneak a peek into the living room.
- heading downstairs, in birth order, fingers raised, chanting "We're #1". I remember Cindy's first Christmas morning with us - we quicklly determined her proper place in line and knew she was a keeper when she threw her hand in the air and joined in our chant.
- after tearing through your presents, going around to everyone else's pile to see what Santa had brought them. One year, Debbie (I think) got a tape recorder. We spent hours recording different songs and skits - including that song - "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight"...
- just when it started to feel like all the excitement was over, I would remember we still had to give Mommy & Daddy their gifts. The dining room table stacked with what seemed like hundreds of presents. Waiting with breathless anticipation - because you just knew Mommy was going to absolute love those kitchen dish towels from Woolworth's. The few times our Madame actually got teary eyed over a gift someone had given her. The tags Daddy would put on his presents for mom, each one different "To Mrs. Regan From Mr. Regan, To Tessie From Vincent",etc.
Truly, I could go on for ever (sorry - I kind of did). I feel so incredibly lucky to have grown up in the Regan house. Mom & Dad were such amazing parents - something I realize over & over again as I watch Hannah & Jack grow up and Keith & I struggle with different parenting issues. I feel so blessed to have all of you as my family. Have a merry, merry Christmas with your families and remember... WE'RE #1!! :)
Barbara
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