Saturday, January 7, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
The Unsung Christmas Carol
Act 1
Christmas Eve Daytime
Scrooge is at his desk rummaging through papers and Bob Cratchit is working by his side.
Scrooge: Cratchit! Cratchit where are you, you lazy swine?
Cratchit: Right here sir, what is it?
Scrooge: Take a look at these numbers, have you been working at all?
Cratchit: I’ve been working for the last 364 days sir. I haven’t had a break in 11 years.
Scrooge: Bahumbug! You should be working 385 days a year. If you don’t have the sales up by tonight, then you’re fired!
Cratchit: But Mr. Scrooge, it’s Christmas Eve! How am I supposed to do that?
In walks the Grinch, cursing and whatnot under his breath.
Scrooge: Awww, good morning Mr. Grinch, my most valuable customer and might I add, the most likeable personality in all of the Triangle Area.
Gringe: To hell with it, I’m green, I’m furry and I’m looking for a safe box to store all these gifts I stole from Who-ville.
Cratchit: Stole?
Scrooge: Aw, he he means borrowed…tis the season, isn’t that what you holidayers always coo.
Gringe: Yes, yes. Tis the season, blah blah blah.
Scrooge: You know Cratchit, you could learn a few things from Gringe if you had half a brain. Real business mastermind.
Cratchit: Business mastermind? He stole gifts from Cindy Lou Who and all the Whos in Whoville. Sounds like robbery to me. Lis sing wa who dore…
Gringe: Who is this wise guy, Dr. Suess? At any rate, have you got a safe big enough for my loot?
Scrooge: Let’s go take a look out back. Scrooge and Grinch begin to leave.
Cratchit: Um, sir, before you take off, may I ask a favor?
Scrooge: A favor? What do I look like, Aunt Pat?
Cratchit: Tomorrow’s Christmas and I’d love to spend it with my family. If I work all night tonight, do you think that would be possible?
Gringe: It is so hard to find good help these days.
Scrooge: Family man huh? I knew I had good reason not to like you Crochet. Fine. Take your beloved holiday off but you had better be here at 4 a.m. on the 26th. Lis sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas
Cratchit: Oh thank you! Merry Christmas Scrooge! Happy Hannanaka! To you and yours!
Scrooge & Gringe leave. Enter Fred & George Bailey
Fred: Hello Mr. Cratchit! What’s all the excitement about?
Cratchit: Scrooge has agreed to give me off for Christmas!
Fred: Well isn’t that the miracle on 34th street.
Cratchit: I know, I know. What brings you and George to this part of town?
George: Hello ole building and loan!
Cratchit: Is he okay Fred?
George: Huh? Into my good ear Crochet!
Fred: Try not to stare, he’s been saying that to every building we pass. At any rate, I came to invite Scrooge to dinner tomorrow, where is the old stinker?
Cratchit: Out back with Gringe, they’re looking for a safe box. Probably plotting how to ruin other people’s Christmases as well. Do you know Gringe stole all of…
Fred: Yea, yea, all of Cindy Lou Who’s presents. I saw the tweet like an hour ago.
George: Stole the gifts? Maybe he’s got Suzu’s petals.
Fred: Nevermind George, anyway, I just stopped by to invite Scrooge to dinner tomorrow, will you pass along the message?
Cratchit: Will do Fred
George: Goodbye ya ole building and loan!
End Scene.
Act 2
Christmas Eve Night
Scrooge tucked into bed. Lis making spooky sounds – wind howling and bells jingling.
Scrooge: What was that? Sits up in bed scared, looking around because he heard a sound.
Marley: Hey mon! What’s da problem, it’s me, Marley!
Scrooge: Marley! My old business partner?
Enter Marley
Marley: No mon, Bob Marley. I’ve come to tell ya a message from Father Christmas.
Scrooge: From who? Santa Claus?
Marley: No mon, from Father Christmas. Tonight ya will be visited by tree ghosts. Spooky, creepy crawly ghosts. Ya better listen to dem, so you don’t go on ruinin’ the rest of ya days. The first ghost is from your past. From long ago when you was a young, happy man.
Scrooge: Oh I was never a happy man.
Marley: But you were! Just ask your old golfing buddy…
Enter Angel from the Past
Past: Hello Ebbie! How have you been!?
Scrooge: Oh don’t call me that, no one calls me that anymore.
Past: Come with me you old fart, come see the happy man…
Past puts arm around Scrooge and they and Marley all turn to look off into the distance.
Oprah: We’re back and we’re speaking with the most highly decorated golfer in the United States. Tell us Ebbie, how did it feel when you sank the hole in one during the Vincey Memorial?
Past Scrooge: It felt like heaven! I really can’t believe I did it and to be in such a pretigious and well-known tournament is a great honor.
Oprah: What do you credit success?
Past Scrooge: Budweiser, Shit on Shingles, and my beloved family.
Oprah: Shit on who?
Past Scrooge: An old family favorite.
Oprah: Ok, I’ll take your word for it. What would you say your family has done for you to help you become this successful?
Past Scrooge: They make me happy.
Behind them
Scrooge: Happy!? This can’t be accurate, have we gone back into someone else’s past?
Past: No Scrooge, this was you! I was there! I saw you with my own two eyes!
Enter Angel from Christmas Present
Present: Are we about done here?
Past & Marley: Shhhh!
Past: What the hell are you doing here?
Marley: Yea, aren’t we supposed to get back to his bedroom first and then you come?
Present: Listen, I’ve got a lot of stops to make, I was just at the Grinch’s house and decided to come here next since it was on the way.
Scrooge: On the way? Who the are you supposed to be?
Present: I’m the ghost of Christmas Present, come on old man, we’ve got to get a move on it.
Scrooge: Wait a minute, I’m losing track, how many of us are dead and how many are alive?
Marley: We’re all alive Scrooge, in spirit and in your dream, we’re all very much alive.
Scrooge: Have you been drinking?
Present: Come on, come on, time is ticking.
Marley, Past, Oprah, Scrooge Past all exit. Enter Cratchit to the side of Scrooge & Present
Scrooge: Oh no, not this guy. What have I got to learn from this? I know this scene inside and out, this goon works for me.
Present: He works for his family Scrooge, you happen to be his employer.
Scrooge: Don’t go soft on me stupid ghost of Christmas Right Now.
Present: The ghost of Christmas Present, Scrooge, I’m here to show you what became of the happy young man you just visited.
Scrooge: I’ll tell you what happened, he got rich and wealthy and and…
Present: And very lonely and selfish. Look at how hard Cratchit is working. Can you tell me the last time you complimented him? The last time you helped him the way he helps you? Worked hard for something the way he does?
Scrooge: He is a good worker, he doesn’t need me telling him that.
Enter Tiny Tim to Cratchit’s side
Tim: Hey Dad! Almost done working for the day?
Cratchit: Hey Tim, I’m almost done, only 13 more hours to go.
Tim: I wish you could come home early for dinner tonight.
Cratchit: I do too Tiniest Tim. But I’m work extra hard to get you a new leg.
Tim: What about my siblings Dad? I don’t deserve all the fruits of your labor.
Cratchit: I know Tiny. I’m saving for a new arm for Large Tim and a new wig for Medium Tim.
Scrooge: He sure has his hands full.
Present: He sure does, he has 14 all together, I think they’re Irish.
Scrooge: Or insane.
Present: He works this hard to provide for his family and you don’t care a bit.
Scrooge: Well why should I care? I’ve given him a job haven’t I? A paycheck? I give him those things and without me, then all the Tims and Crochet would be a lot worse off.
Present: You’re missing the point Scrooge. He is still happy despite how hard it looks on the outside. You on the other hand wouldn’t know gratitude if it slapped you in the face.
Scrooge: Slapped me in the face?
Cratchit walks over and lightly smacks Scrooge in the face.
Scrooge: I thought he couldn’t see us?
Present: Well I took a little creative liberty.
Enter Ghost of Christmas Future from the side
Future: Hello, anyone home?
Scrooge: Oh great, how many of you guys are there?
Present: Three Scrooge, there are three ghosts, don’t you ever watch the Holiday classics on Hallmark?
Present, Cratchit and Tim all exit. Future stands beside Scrooge.
Scrooge: Well where to now?
Present: To several years into the future, shortly after your death.
Scrooge: My death!? A little morbid for a Christmas classic don’t you think Ghost?
Present: Well you are going to die Scrooge and I think you better take a look at where your life is headed.
Enter ALL OTHER CHARACTERS to the side of Scrooge & Future Ghost
Oprah: Now, before we go live, does everyone remember where to sit and what they’re saying?
ALL: Yeah, yep, (etc. etc)
Oprah: Ok, any questions?
Fred: Wait a minute, I have a question. Aren’t we supposed to be forgiving and loving, especially during Christmas?
Cratchit: Good point Fred. Now I know he was a real pain in the ass, but should we really be roasting him like this? Can’t we just forgive and move on?
Scrooge: What are they talking about? What are they going to do?
Future: They are talking about you Scrooge. About how cruel and selfish you were.
Scrooge: On national television?!
Future: I guess they want to make a point.
Scrooge (addressing the group): Hey everybody, stop right there!
Tim: Mr. Scrooge? We thought you were dead!
Oprah: Damn, there went my show.
Tim: We thought you were a goner! Tim hugs Scrooge
Scrooge: Listen everybody, I get the point. I understand, I was a total jerk.
Grinch: Yeah, a big jerk.
George: Big? I want a big one!
Scrooge: I’ve learned my lesson, I don’t want to live like this anymore.
Future: Well that’s a relief, I’m late for my next appointment.
Past: Why don’t we all go over to my house for a big Christmas celebration.
Present: Good idea! I heard there was an 18 foot tree in the living room and enough food to feed an army.
ALL walk in place like you’re walking to another spot.
ENTER Mary & Joseph
Lis singing Have a Holly Jolly Christmas
Grinch: Is that the Virgin Mother and Joseph?
Joseph: It is indeed, we’ve been traveling all night for a place to lay our heads, but there is no room at the inn.
Past: There is room at our inn! Come with us!
Present: Yes, and we’re about to have a holiday party, you can join us.
Mother Mary: Good, I could use a little rest.
Lis singing Silent Night
ALL walk in place together
Wiseman 1: Before we eat, let’s hear the Virgin Mother explain the meaning of Christmas.
ALL agree that sounds like a good idea.
Scrooge: And Mother, if you don’t mind could you do me a favor?
Mother Mary: Of course Ebby, what is it?
Scrooge: After your story, could you please give them my gift?
Mother Mary: Of course, but why don’t you give it to them?
Scrooge: I want to see their faces when they receive the gift.
Jingle Bells
ALL CHARACTERS remain standing while Mother Mary finishes the play.
Mother Mary: Okay, gather round you kind and odd group of people.
Christmas day is soon in coming,
All the bustle, all the running.
For every gift and tree adorned,
A holiday memory will be born.
All the cooking and late night wrapping,
Matched in effort only by afternoon napping.
The anxious secret keeping,
And curious children peeping.
The traffic jams that made me curse,
The parking lot that made it worse.
The warmest December since the dawn of man,
I began to think Christmas was a luke-warm scam.
So much to do and so much to see,
One night I paused with a warm cup of tea.
I considered my blessings, my family and friends.
Good health and time to make amends.
Time to laugh around a table of folks,
Telling old stories and older jokes.
I thought of the other times we gathered here,
And just the memory made a smile appear.
Enter the 3 wiseman.
So now here we are on another Eve,
To celebrate these gifts before we leave.
The gift of Jesus born tonight.
The gifts of wiseman brought in the night.
The gift of family, by birth or otherwise,
The gift of knowing The Last Gift has arrived.
So from the wiseman’s box, the lid I’ll lift.
And pull a name to receive the gift.
Teresa…pull a name out of the box and read the winner’s name!
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Dear Family,
On behalf of Dad and Mom, I enclose their last Christmas gift to each of you. They asked me to convey three wishes to you: First, that the dollar amount of the check was higher; Second, that you use the money in a way that makes you and your family happy; and Third, that you recognize that this check is but a small measure of their love for you.
I think it is quite fitting that this final Estate distribution coincides with the coming of Christmas. The Regan household at Christmastime was indeed a wonder. We each retain our own cherished memories - here are a few of mine (they may be yours as well; in fact, as Renie knows, I sometimes inadvertently grab hold of others' stories as my own):
- Dad's amazing calmness on Christmas Eve morning, even though he had not yet thought about, much less purchased, a single gift and faced a full day of crazed holiday shopping with his brigade of daughters;
- The last-minute purchase of our Christmas tree, the complicated logistics of ensuring that the tree stayed upright in its stand, and the mass exodus when it came time to decorate the tree (except for Teresa, alone, with a handful of tinsel, dutifully doing the work of 14);
- The pure happiness that enveloped the entire Regan household on Christmas Eve night, with the fire in the fireplace struggling to keep pace with the burning Yule log on the television;
- Our beautiful wood mantel above the fireplace - just before we hammered in the nails to hang up our stockings;
- The moment of wonderful confusion on Christmas morning as we approached a living room jam-packed with gifts, each of us silently measuring the individual stashes and waiting for Mom's instruction as to which one was ours;
- The utter exhaustion and wild hunger (and, yes, a slight disappointment) that overtook me almost instantly after unwrapping my last gift);
- The gathering around the dining room table for the presentation of gifts to Mom and Dad, an endless affair in which time momentarily stood still when your gift was being opened;
- The leisurely pace of Christmas Day, lounging in our pajamas well into the afternoon and rediscovering one at a time our Christmas gifts; and
- A singular moment during Christmas Day when it dawns on you, not for the first time, that you are miraculously blessed to have Mom and Dad as your parents and to be a part of this wonderful family.
Merry Christmas to all of you. I love you.
Bob
I have just reread Bob's letter and I am amazed how he so beautifully captures the emotions of our childhood Christmases. I talked with Deb, and then Pat, and they each conveyed the same sentiment, how they were immediately transported back to that morning. Deb expressed a desire to hear everybody else's favorite memory of Christmas. I think that would be the perfect gift to each other and ultimately, to Mom and Dad's memory. So if you would like to share something with each other, now is the time.
One of my favorite memories is when Mom would call you aside after all the gifts had been opened and announce she had forgotten to give you one of your presents. One year, she whispered to me to come upstairs where she handed me a small package. I opened up two receiving blankets for my new baby doll. Having witnessed Mommy wrap her own babies so efficiently and snugly year after year, I was so thrilled to do so to my own baby doll.
Bob, thank you for evoking such vivid memories and for reminding us of how blessed we are to have been raised in such a family.
Love you all,
Bay
Mike,
I loved your memories! I agree with Mike that I remember Mom’s face on Christmas morning as everyone opened their gifts; she just loved seeing everyone open their presents and exclaim over them; it just made her day. I remember one year when mom had showed me a pair of pants she had bought Pat for Christmas, and little did she know that Pat had bought her the exact same pants! I think I must have made a surprise face when she showed me so I had to reassure her Pat would love them. I couldn’t wait for Christmas to see them when they both opened their new pants. I remembered going shopping with mom for Christmas and how much fun we had picking out the presents; then we would go and get a soft drink and talk about all that she had bought. I don’t know how she did it; what with all the birthdays before Christmas and then having to wait til Dad got home to even go out and shop, since they only had one car, she was one amazing woman! I also remember Vince putting together shows for us to do on Christmas Eve and we would sing and do silly things, but it was a magical night and we were all so excited. Then when all the little ones went to bed we would decorate the tree (one tinsel strand at a time)! Man, this is taking me back years- thanks for the idea Bay !
Bob, thank you so much for that beautiful letter; it deserves framing! It brought tears to my eyes as I read it and it brought back all those wonderful memories-thank you so much!
Merry Christmas everyone!
Teresa
***********
God I love you guys! I miss Mommy, Daddy and Vince!!! I have tears in my eyes reading all these emails. My memory is not that great and reading these mails brings back so much happiness. I do recall always being so nervous trying on cloths and hoping that they would fit. And I know Mommy was right there praying that I like the presents and hoping that they would fit too. She knows how sad I would get if they didn’t fit and I did not want to ruin the excitement of the day or disappoint Mommy.
I too want to give a special thank you to OT and Rame for handling Mom and Dad estate. I am sure it was not an easy task, emotionally or otherwise. And a great big thank you for the Christmas money!!! The timing could not have been more perfect.
Thank you both!
Merry Christmas,
David
***********
As with others I could write many things, but I will limit it to three:
1. Age 8 or so -- Marching down the stairs and seeing that the living room had been transformed overnight into a wonderland of streamers, decorations and presents -- and believing with all my heart that "yes Santa Claus is real."
2. Around the age of 10 or 11 -- I was inspired by Rame's Christmas spirit when he would insist on going to Midnight Mass. And then again around age 16 or 17, realizing that his spirit(s) were not always religion based despite the bulletin he brought home from church as evidence.
3. Age 15 or so -- Being too old to act overtly excited, yet young enough to be up early in anticipation. So to fill the time between getting up and being able to go downstairs, using the back stairs to go to the kitchen and getting a cup of tea and casually sneaking a peak into the living room under the guise of getting milk from the refrigerator.
And to bridge the gap from childhood memories to making your own with our kids, Michele and I have blended many traditions from both families into our own. The most important of which is being with family during the holidays -- so from our family to yours, Merry Christmas!! And in addition to all the wonderful memories we all have, one not so wonderful memory that we continue to deal with each year (to varying degrees of success) is "you have to brush your teeth before you can come down".
- John
***********
Dear Everyone,
I too, have a very special Christmas memory of Jamestown and Mommy and Daddy. I tell you this story NOT to make you sad, but to celebrate the wonder that is the season and your family.
It was Christmas 1991 - the first since Vincey had died. I was trying my hardest to be brave and stayed in WV to celebrate Christmas with our friends and the "traditions" we had started sinced living there with all those great people. That was the year Matt made the VHS (remember those?) of the family setting it to music. You know, the four part one. I was afraid of it the minute it arrived. I knew the emotional bomb it could be. So, I held it and did not watch it or show it to the girls until after they had finished opening presents and we had had breakfast. We hald talked to Jamestown and Maine and then, I felt fortified and ready.
We were still all in our PJs and I told the girls what I had. They, of course, were furious with me that I had waited so long to tell them about it. So, with tea in hand, Alison, Tessie and Katherine sitting as close to the TV as possible we put it in the machine and watched. When the third section came, and Vince was there, smiling, happy, healthy and surrounded by all the people that were so deeply important to him, it came for me - such a flood of grief that I had been holding my breath on for the past 12 months. Mericifully, Matt's editorial genius ended 4th part of the video with the joyful celebration of life.
We all sat there, I remember sitting quietly staromg at the snow on the screen for what seemed like forever until I quietly asked the girls if they would like to drive to Jamestown right then and there. WILD!!!! Jubilation. I called Grandmom and when I asked her if it was okay if we came up - TODAY, she said "I wondered why you aren't here now!"
I don't remember packing, the girls traveled in their pjs, I don't remember the drive. What I do remember is arriving in Jamestown - to the hoots and hollars and excitement of everyone. What I remember is all the hugs and joy that we were there. What I do remember is sitting in the kitchen with Mommy and a cup of tea and both of us crying. What I do remember is the warm, safe feeling of being loved and more importantly of belonging.
Even though Vince wasn't there, I had a home there - not in Jamestown, but wherever your parents were. I remember feeling so very special in the midst of so many. What I do remember is your Dad coming over to me later, and hugging me and saying simply, "I love you, dingbat". What I remember is how happy my girls were, how childlike, how perfect. What I remember is that I was breathing. I was going to be okay and so were the girls. What I do remember is that Vince had left me the greatest gift of all - of family, his family.
That is always still the feeling I get at Christmas time - the feeling of unbridled joy, the joy of belonging and of beling loved by my beloeved Vincey's family. But mostly and more importantly, that his family loves his girls, each one - wholly and individually. That is the gift of Christmas that I always remember from that viist at Christmas time to Jamestown in 1991.
And still, twenty years, later, that brilliant shard of joy and relief is there. Thank you all
and Merry Christmas to everyone.
With love,
Lis
***********
Typically, I had a hard time choosing my favorite Christmas memory. Here are just a few of my many memories from our Regan Christmas':
The heady days leading up to Christmas were my favorite part of the season:
- waiting with anticipation for all the college age and older siblings to return home. No matter how many of us were together, it was always noticeable when even one brother or sister was missing.
- watching the Christmas specials on TV that only aired once a year. Daddy loved them as much as we did - especially the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. It was as much fun watching Daddy chuckle at the grinch's antics as it was watching the actual show.
- going to the mall en masse to buy Mommy and Daddy's presents. Teresa was so patient with each of us as we made the weighty decision between kitchen dish towels or set of Woolworth's finest steak knives. After all the shopping was done, we would head to the little restaurant attached to Woolworth's to share a few sodas, and one year, incredibly, a 1cent banana split (one sundae, ten spoons).
- practicing for our annual Christmas Eve performance that Ot or Vincie would produce. The nightly play practices that Michael was routinely thrown out of for laughing at me while I practiced presententing a Christmas poem.
- waking up Christmas Eve morning when Debbie & I shared a bed. The first one awake would shake the other awake with "Wake up it's Christmas Eve!".
When Christmas morning had finally arrived:
- going into Michael, Matthew, & John's room to wait it out & give the older kids a chance to sleep in a little longer. Deciding who would brave the noxious odor of the 3rd floor to wake the big brothers. Waiting with growing excitement until Mommy gave the ok to head downstairs.
- having to eat breakfast before we opened presents, pretending to have to go to the bathroom, so you could sneak a peek into the living room.
- heading downstairs, in birth order, fingers raised, chanting "We're #1". I remember Cindy's first Christmas morning with us - we quicklly determined her proper place in line and knew she was a keeper when she threw her hand in the air and joined in our chant.
- after tearing through your presents, going around to everyone else's pile to see what Santa had brought them. One year, Debbie (I think) got a tape recorder. We spent hours recording different songs and skits - including that song - "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight"...
- just when it started to feel like all the excitement was over, I would remember we still had to give Mommy & Daddy their gifts. The dining room table stacked with what seemed like hundreds of presents. Waiting with breathless anticipation - because you just knew Mommy was going to absolute love those kitchen dish towels from Woolworth's. The few times our Madame actually got teary eyed over a gift someone had given her. The tags Daddy would put on his presents for mom, each one different "To Mrs. Regan From Mr. Regan, To Tessie From Vincent",etc.
Truly, I could go on for ever (sorry - I kind of did). I feel so incredibly lucky to have grown up in the Regan house. Mom & Dad were such amazing parents - something I realize over & over again as I watch Hannah & Jack grow up and Keith & I struggle with different parenting issues. I feel so blessed to have all of you as my family. Have a merry, merry Christmas with your families and remember... WE'RE #1!! :)
Barbara
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Raymond's Eulogy
DAD
On behalf of our family, I want to welcome all of you as we celebrate the life of our father and say our final goodbyes. Your presence here today buoys our collective hearts for the man we all loved, and I am sure, he would be humbled and deeply honored by your outpouring of affections.
Our Dad was an amazing man. He had an indomitable spirit, infused with an iron will, but tempered by a tender heart and by his easy disposition. Even to his last breath, he fought like hell. A stubborn, feisty Irishman to the end. But at his core, laid a family man who loved his children and his children’s children. He consumed life and lived to the fullest.
His life was forever altered one summer day long ago by a chance meeting with a cute girl named “Tessie” at the shore in Cape May, New Jersey. As he would often say about our Mom, “I met her as a teenager, and she became my lovely wife and the mother of our children. She was a great, great lady.” And so it began, a love story made in heaven. As fate would have it, that very weekend that our Dad met our mother, her own father had passed away.
Our father would regale us of stories of his courtship with our Mom. Our Mother was the youngest in her family, having four older, very protective brothers. One night our Dad came to their house for a date and upon entering, he heard our Mother’s brother Eb’s booming voice from downstairs, “where’s that son of a bitch that’s dating my sister?” Later that night, he would prove his metal to her brothers by holding his own in their dart matches, and of course, his wonderful wit. In fact, he loved all of her brothers- Eb for his honesty, Jimmy for his kindness, Jiggs for his generosity, and Ray for his golden heart.
My Mom and her brother Ray were the closest in age in their family and naturally remained very close throughout their lives. As teenagers, they would get dates for one another, go to dances together, and when our father entered the picture, our Uncle Ray and Aunt Jean and our Mom and Dad often would double-date, play cards, and have a lot of fun together. As they each raised their families, their lives became forever intertwined. Our father revered Ray. As I speak today, we ask our Dear Lord to watch over our beloved Uncle Ray who is very ill.
Our Dad was especially close to our Mom’s mom. She had lived with them for many years. Our Mother would recall the story when they were first dating, when her Mom would say to her, “I saw that handsome Vince Regan at Mass today going to communion.” Our Mom would roll her eyes while our father’s mischievous look on his face said it all. That summer our Dad had returned from the war and was three years older than our Mom. Ex-servicemen could still collect paychecks from Uncle Sam for acclimating themselves to civilian life. Being an incorrigible young man with money in his pocket to burn, he would be out late on Saturday nights going to dances and raising a little hell. Many a Sunday morning, attending mass was a chore. Our mother had him pegged from the beginning. Nonetheless, she loved the rascal in him.
As our family grew, an understatement if there ever was one, our Mom and Dad’s love for one another deepened. Our Dad simply adored her and he showed it for all the world to see. Through our childhood eyes up through to the day our mother died, he greeted her each morning like it was his last and kissed her in the evening, so thankful to be in her arms. On the few occasions where our Mom became frustrated with us, our Dad would step in and scold us all by saying, “You upset my wife”. He made it known in no uncertain terms, she was his wife first and a mother second. Even at our Mom’s funeral, he seemed to summon an inner strength standing resolute and regal beside her because that’s what his ‘Tessie’ would want of her man.
Life at the Regan’s residence was poetry in motion. Our Jamestown house was a 100 year old majestic brick house that had a back stairwell running from the kitchen all the way up to the third floor where we older boys slept. On a typical weekday, our Mom would yell up to the kids through the back stairwell to wake them for school - the stairwell serving as a natural amplifier. Slowly by surely, we would all stumble down and lay in front of the gas fireplace in the dining room. At the table, she would serve all of us tea and toast. The pace at which she prepared and accurately flung the toast in front of each of us would put to shame any major league pitcher of today. Her toast control was legendary.
Once the kids were taken care of, you would hear her yell up to our father to get up for work. “Vince, it's 7:30, Vince, it's 7:45, get up, you are going to be late” she would say. Our Dad loved to sleep. Some of his children are blessed with the same sensibilities. Our Dad would eventually come down to the kitchen in his suit and tie, kiss our Mom sweetly, and drink his coffee. His affable nature on display as sure as the sun rises each morning.
But when a summer day rolled in on a weekend, our Dad was ready for his golf. There would be no need for our Mom to yell up to our Dad on a Saturday. Our Mother would be up at the crack of dawn, doing her daily chores, and she would walk into their bedroom, and see our father, already out of bed- now picture this- our Dad standing in his boxers, peering out the window, judging the weather of the day with his skinny legs sticking out. [God love him] He would say to her, “Tessie, is it supposed to rain to today”. She reassured him that the storm would blow over. She knew what a sociable creature he was and how much he enjoyed getting out in the fresh air and having fun.
Our Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners were sights to behold. All the older kids were home from college and the younger ones were finally of age. Love permeated the air in that dining room of ours. Grace was said. Our Mom and Dad sat at either end of the table with all the kids somehow in their proper seats. You had to be quick. Plates of turkey, potatoes, and vegetables going every which way, all the while, dinner rolls were zooming by in the direction of the loudest voice. Spilled milk was a given. In the kitchen, you could hear our Dad with the electric knife carving up the bird like a conductor leading his orchestra. You marveled at his cutting craftsmanship. Mom had the coffee and tea flowing in anticipation for the games to begin.
Our family loved playing games after these special dinners. You name it, we played it. Facts in five, jeopardy, trivial pursuit… Our Dad and our brother Vincey were usually the pre-tournament favorites, their love of books and knowledge coming to the forefront quickly. You were in awe of their prowess as their intellectual jousts unfolded. Soon other siblings entered the fray, giving them a run for their money. Sometimes arguments ensued but good times and laughter ruled the day. [God, how beautiful those days were.]
The root of the love of games was our Dad’s playful nature. He possessed an almost childlike imagination about things and life. The older kids in our family can attest to the famous Mr. McGillicuddy, a figment of his mind that lived up in front hallway’s light fixture in our house in Levittown. As we greeted our Dad at the door upon his return from work, he would reach up to the fixture and say, “ how have the kiddies been today, Mr. McGillicuddy?” Magically, as he lowered his arms, out came all of this candy raining down from Mr. McGillicuddy’s house. We were starry eyes.
When our brother David was born, our Dad was driving back from the hospital with his girls, Teresa and Patsy, where on the spot they all started singing a made-up song about our brother to the tune from the old Davy Crockett show. [sing- Davey, Davey Regan….] Just picture the three of them driving down the road singing and laughing at the joy of the moment. He loved his babies. He knew what children wanted. On many a Christmas day, you would find a special gift under the tree with a silly greeting from Santa, Rudolph, or whoever in our father’s distinctive handwriting. To this day, his children continue such an endearing tradition.
Our father had a very tender side to him as well. When Teresa was in the hospital for two weeks as a young girl for tests on her thyroid, and our mother being home with the kids, every night after work, our father would arrive at the hospital to comfort his daughter. When our brother Vince was very sick, our Dad was down at their West Virginia home when he received emergency call from his employer to come back to their corporate headquarters in Jamestown. Being the practical man, he negotiated with his employer to fly him back to Jamestown on the company jet, bringing along Vincey and Liz’s girls and our sister Pat and returning them to WV after the weekend. There were other countless trips to the hospital in Jamestown for various broken bones, stitches, and whatnot, that you would think the management at the hospital contemplated giving him a permanent parking space there.
From a child’s perspective, the sight of our Dad sitting in our living room every night reading his books was a comforting feeling. The range of his interests was as wide as the oceans. [Mitchner, Isaac Asimov, the Flashman books, the Harry Potter series, you name it, he read it]. There would be kids running all around, watching TV or up to some no good, there sat our Dad calmly reading, escaping with his incredible mind. On one occasion, my brothers and I were playing with dart guns with rubber tip darts. We all bet our brother Dave that he could not hit the tip of our Dad’s cigarette with the dart. So from the hallway in our house, around five yards in distance to our Dad’s chair, Dave took aim and fired. It was the funniest damn thing. With the precision of a marksman, the dart clipped our Dad’s ash. Our Dad jumped up, “what the hell is going on?” We all scrambled like rats, giggling all the way.
The benefits of our Dad’s love of reading had no bounds. On school nights, we all would utilize his skills for homework. However, the risk was you never got the book back. “Dad, I have to go to bed, can I have my history book back?” we would say. Even as adults, we consulted him on speeches we needed to make for school or work, and he would sit down and write a draft speech for us. His writing was beautiful. As our Dad progressed with his career, he decided he would teach accounting at our local community college. Being an articulate and social man, he enjoyed helping his students. In retirement, our Dad never had to buy a book. The books came to him in the form of gifts, a befitting honor accorded a literary man.
From his own life experience, our Dad found and knew the value of education. Education transformed his life. He took full advantage of the GI bill afforded returning serviceman. At the time our Dad graduated from his beloved Villanova University, he was married with two children, worked constantly at night driving a taxi in Philly while being a student during the day. It was a given in our household that each of the children would go to college. He demanded it from us. Our mother supported his thinking all the way. That was the proudest accomplishment of his lifetime in his mind. All of his children attained their college degrees.
Our Dad was a self-made man. He was a man of honor having crafted a remarkable career through his hard work and integrity. Our family could never remember a day when he missed work. His colleagues and business associates admired his business acumen. His business adversaries respected his negotiation skills. In our household, he exacted personal effort and honesty from each of us as he demonstrated it daily through his own actions.
Our brother Bob tells the story of the time when as a little league coach in baseball, our Dad literally traded away Bobby to another team to avoid even the slightest perception of nepotism. I, personally, felt my Dad’s wrath as a young boy. I had stolen some things from various stores for the purpose of birthday gifts for my brothers and sisters born in the month of November. We have a lot of birthdays in November. I hid the items in the back of my closet. Of course, my mother found the ill-gotten gifts. Who ever heard of fall cleaning? Our Mom was such a hawk.
Our Mom proceeded to tell our Dad upon his return from work that night. Our Mom always brought in our Dad to speak to us when our actions were beyond the norm. Our house in Pennsylvania was small and you could hear everything from the steps. I remember over-hearing her explaining my thefts to my Dad. Ever the sweet soul, our Mom said at least I had my heart in the right place. Our Dad would hear none of it. He proceeded to take me to each store, walked me up to each store manager, and demanded I tell each of them what I had done and required me to hand over all the stolen merchandise. When my Dad and I had gotten home, he said in front our whole family at the dinner table, “ Raymond, go up to your room, you do not deserve to sit at this dinner table tonight.” To this day, that episode and its morality about honesty stick with me and my siblings.
Our family and friends all know and love the keen sense of humor our Dad had. Whether at home, at the Elks Lodge, on the golf course, or a card game, our Dad had an incredible wit about him. His humor was sometimes biting, and sometimes, just plain hilarious. Our brother Matt recalled the time when he lost his temper in our living room in Jamestown when the Phillies blew the lead in late innings and lost the game. Matt proceeded to lose it, throwing things around the room. Our Mom promptly yells out to our Dad, “say something Vince, he’s your son”. Our Dad responded, “Tessie, I lay no claim to an asshole.”
Our Dad loved his sports. He was a man’s man. From stickball and baseball as a kid to darts, golf and pool as an adult, he loved to compete and have fun playing. Watching him hit ground balls to little league teams as a coach was a thing of beauty. He had amazing eye-hand coordination. You would see that in him as a batter in baseball, in darts and playing pool. As a father, he always took us boys to baseball games and Villanova basketball games. I remember my brothers Vince, Bobby, and I going with our Dad to a Phillies/Mets game in New York. It was bat day at the stadium where each child with an adult got a free bat upon entering the stadium. Our father quickly deducing the situation, strategically situated Bobbie and I with two guys in line behind us. As we entered the stadium, each of us was holding a brand new Louisville sluggers. We were in heaven.
Our Dad loved his friends. Throughout his life, whether in Philly, Jamestown, or Raleigh, he had a social grace about him. He was such a gregarious man and probably his Irish upbringing had much to do with that. In retirement, he had no better friends than his brothers and does at the Elks Lodge in Raleigh. You were his extended family and you returned his friendship in full measure through your acts of love and kindness to him, especially after our Mom died. Our family is so grateful to all of you.
At our family reunion just last week, our Dad was at the doorstep of heaven. He was dying as he lived. As he lay on the couch at our beach house, he enjoyed his grandsons playing cards at the table, viewed the latest movie with some of his granddaughters, loved his daughters taking care of his every need, and witnessed the usual antics of his sons and in-laws for the annual Vinnie Golf Tournament. For the first time, he saw the last of his grandchildren in Matt and Shilpa’s Lilly Bay and all of his great grandchildren in Ella, Juliette, Joshua, and Caleb. He willed himself to live that reunion week.
A few weeks back, our sister Teresa and her husband Jeff came over to our Dad’s house for dinner. Our Dad proceeded to tell us all of a bad dream he had had regarding Mom the night before. He described first how during their marriage he and our mother always had a very romantic love between each other, and each was each other’s soul mates. In his dream, he had died but found upon reaching heaven that our Mom had found another soul mate. He was so devastated. Dad, the good Lord is meeting you this day with your soul mate waiting for you. Goodbye Daddy, Goodbye Grandpop.